Permission to play...

I'm not entirely sure what to think right now. My wife has brought up a discussion several times today about me going out and finding sex on the side. She's pretty vanilla and even getting a blow job usually requires a lot of working up to it. Anal sex is out of the question these days and anything that would be considered a fetish is pretty tough to get. She gave me a hand once with her dirty sock. She can understand why I would want her to use her dirty panties, but the sock was a little out there for her and the idea of using her shoe is pretty far out there. I've been asking a lot lately about discussing the use of a strap-on (her fucking me) and that seems to be completely out of the question as is any kind of pee play, even in the shower.

So today, she's brought up again and again the idea that if I got the sex I am looking for (that she is uncomfortable doing) elsewhere, then our marriage might be better for it. On some level she may have a point, but of course you have to question how the other shoe is going to drop.

Every time I would accept it as though she were joking, she would bring it back up. I told her it almost sounded like she was trying to talk me into it. She doesn't want me to have a girlfriend, because it would have to just be about the sex. If it weren't illegal in this state, she would prefer it to be a prostitute and as she knows I sometimes travel through Vegas, suggested that I might find one there. She said as long as it was not in our house, she was ok with it. She won't come along or watch and probably does not want the details, but damn... what do I do with this? Nothing for now. I admit, I am intrigued. It's a huge turn on to even imagine she wants to let me do something like this.

I suggested I could find another man to play with. She had joked about it earlier and said, hey you did say once you were curious. So I said, ok... what if I do it. She seemed a little surprised and asked if I really was that curious. I told her I am. Definitely not in an emotional relationship, but just in the sex. She isn't turned on at all by the idea of two men having sex and she said as much. I asked her how it would affect our marriage if I did. She said she didn't know. She said she's mostly ok with another woman but isn't sure how she feels yet about another guy. I'll bring it up again and see where it goes.

At the moment, I feel like a pretty lucky guy, though all in all, I'd really like to have the kinky sex with her.